Tales of the 31st -- Bomb Tossing

by Ram1

Bomb Tossing

Ram1 was sitting alone, sipping his favorite Scotch at the Hammer and Sickle when Gshep approached him. So much for a quiet afternoon he thought to himself, as Gshep sat down across from him.

“Ram1”, Gshep started, “as you know we have several new pilots that have joined the squad recently. Well,…” Gshep hesitated and Ram1 could clearly see his face contort, and watched as he swallowed hard, as if to keep something down. Ram1 could sense what the subject was. Gshep composed himself and continued, “well, they have heard the stories about”, again Gshep swallowed hard and whispered, “Natasha”, he paused, and looked up as painful memories rushed to his consciousness. Quickly he looked around to make sure SHE was not around.

Ram1 watched how uncomfortable his friend had become, he also felt queasiness in his stomach but after years of practice he had learned how to control those emotions and thoughts about that woman. After all, it was he that had brought her along to the 31st, so there was no one to blame but himself. Ram1 spoke “Shep, don't worry, Natasha is off visiting her sister in the Ukraine. The newbies are safe for another few days”.

“That's just it Ram1”, Gshep continued. “The new guys have all banded together after hearing the stories and, well, they want to challenge the initiation and …” but Gshep stopped in his tracks as Ram1 sprang from his seat, sending it back 10 feet crashing into the bar.

The noise startled the other 31st members that were in the bar and they quickly came over to the table thinking that something was terribly wrong. Ram1 was glaring now, staring directly at Gshep and not paying attention as Smiley, Ozz, Slpsht and Dadman gathered around.

In a voice that he seldom uses, Ram1 started shouting “Who the hell to they think they are, freaking newbies, they want to challenge do they, they think they are better men then the guys around this table, better then the guys we have lost, better the guys who have already proven there merit.”

Gshep was startled for a second, he knew Ram1 might react but he did not anticipate this reaction. “Ram1, they asked me to speak to you, to try and reason with you. There young and a bit rebellious, will you just listen to their proposal”. “No”, Ram1 started, “I won't listen to this nonsense, there are traditions that must be upheld. There are things that have to be done so we can bond as group, fight as a group, we all have to work within the same rules, No, I won't let them challenge”.

“Wait Ram1”, it was Slpsht, “why not hear what the challenge is first and what the stakes are”. Ram1 thought for a second, hell what could he lose by listening to the proposal. “OK, OK, what are they proposing?”

Gshep sat back in his chair, looked around the table and said “They propose a bomb toss, a 100lb defused bomb toss, whoever tosses the furthest will be the winner. They want Jumbo to represent them and will let you pick whoever you want to compete against them as long as it's someone on the base.”

Ram1 pondered what was said. He looked around the table at the others. “Well, what do you guys think?”, he said. Smiley was the first to speak. “Ram1, I dunno, I also like the tried and true methods we've been using for years”. Dadman nodded in agreement. Ozz then spoke, “Ram1, while I agree our initiation rights are proven and well founded”. He swallowed hard, keeping down the bile as his thoughts wandered to his encounter with SHE that shall not be named. “I think perhaps such a challenge might be good for boosting the spirits of the squad and besides, I'd love to see how far someone can toss that bomb”.

As if in unison, Ram1 could see the other pilots slowly nodding their heads, ‘so they want a challenge do they', he thought, ‘well the penalty for these guys losing must be severe enough that this will never happen again' he said to himself.

“Ok, Gshep, I'll accept the challenge on one condition. That I set the stakes. Is that agreeable?”. Gshep thought for a second, the newbies had asked him to do this, so its only right that he negotiates the terms with Ram1, they will have to accept it or just take their medicine like the rest of the 31st had to do. “Ok Ram1, what are the stakes?”.

Ram1 smiled, this unsettled Gshep a bit, but the other 31st members just looked at each other. They knew Jumbo was big and that he could toss those poles but they also knew that Ram1 had something up his sleeve.

“OK, if Jumbo wins then they do not have to spend time with Natasha, BUT, if they lose then they have to spend 1 month with her and her sister Nadia from the Ukraine, do we have a deal?”. Ram1 now picked up his chair and sat down, folding his arms in front of him, smiling all the while. Gshep looked at him, sweat started to break out from his brow. A whole month he thought, the most anyone has gone was two weeks and that was with 3 guys and just Natasha alone. It took 1 month for those guys to recover, he couldn't fathom what a month would do to them.

“A month Ram1, a month, you'll kill them” Smiley shouted. “Yeah, that is harsh” Slpsht added. “Hey”, Ram1 now spoke, “this wasn't my idea. If they want to challenge then they have to be prepared to suffer the consequences, I'm not going to budge on this, either you take these terms or there is no deal”.

Gshep was feeling very uncomfortable now. He did not anticipate such harsh terms, but the newbies told him to accept whatever Ram1 offered, no way Jumbo would lose to anyone Ram1 would name, no way. “I accept for them then, who do you name to represent you for the toss?”.

Ram1's smile broadened and he began to laugh. “Who do I pick you ask”, laughing again, “why, I pick the one person on this base who has the most to gain from this, I pick Natasha”.

Gshep's draw dropped then he spoke. “Wait, Natasha is not a formal member of the 31st, she's the bartender and I've seen her carry those kegs as if they were tissue paper, I don't think….” But before he could finish Ram1 interrupted him. “You said, anyone on the base, not anyone in the 31st, I pick Natasha”. The others quickly agreed that this was indeed the case and Gshep had no choice but to agree.

“OK then, the contest will be held in 6 days, go tell your newbies to prepare”, Ram1 said, then turned and laughed his way out of the bar. Gshep just shook his head and began to prepare himself to tell the others.

4 Days Later

“Da mein leipshun, vas a good idea vou had” Natasha said. Ram1 just looked at her, always amazed at the size of the Woman, the smell, the fluids oozing out of her, it was all he could do to keep himself under control. He had learned over the years to block most of her out but when she get's excited, well, there is nothing he could do.

“Mine sister vill be here to cheer ve on, its been along time since Nadia had a man, let alone 4 men and for a month, eii mein gawd!.” She smiled, those green gums highlighting the few teeth left in her mouth. And the sister, she was worse, Natasha was the baby of the family. Ram1 began to be concerned now, perhaps 1 month would be too long he thought, but then he thought again, no this will teach them a lesson.

Challenge Day

Ram1 sat in the Hammer sickle, sipping his drink and waiting. THWAMP!, he felt it hit the ground then heard the crowd cheer. That would be Jumbo's third and last toss he thought to himself must have been a beaut.

He crossed his legs and waited, and waited, then TWAMP!, he felt it again. Now, there was silence from the crowd, then he felt it, as strong as before, in fact maybe stronger. TWAMP!, TWAMP!, TWAMP!, TWAMP!, TWAMP!. He sat back and sipped his drink, a smile crossing his face as the sound continued, knowing it was Natasha and Nadia jumping up and down in celebration of their victory.

The Aftermath - 1 month later

“Ram1 did you have to make it a month”, Daddy was upset. “We need these guys for the next mission in 5 weeks, will they recover in time?”. Ram1 just stood at attention steering ahead not saying anything. Daddy just eyed him up and down, his hand fingering his .45 as he usually does when he is upset. Daddy turned to splt, “what's the latest medical status”.

Splt eyed Ram1 much the way LB used to do. Then he took out a piece of paper and began to read.

Jumbo - Fractured leg, dehydrated, suffering from shock, afraid of big women.
Lebeck - Two torn knee ligaments, broken finger, case of the crabs, thinking of celibacy.
Alaric – Pulled groin muscles, testicular inflammation and bad case of mouth herpes, complete disorientation, not sure he knows he's in the 31st.
Samson – Asthmatic symptoms, rash of unknown origin over entire body, loss of appetite, keeps mumbling I'm a bomber pilot, I'm a bomber pilot.

Medical Doctor's summary: All physical problems will heal.

Base Psychologist summary: Emotional trauma severe. Electric shock therapy to block out the worst of the memories has been administered to all. Prognosis is good.

Daddy shook his head. “Well are you proud of yourself, Ram1”?

Ram1 thought, ‘yes he was. No one will ever dare challenge the initiation again, never.'
“Sir, No Sir”. Ram1 remained at attention.

“You're confined to base for as long as those men are incapacitated, do you understand me?”, Daddy was in Ram1's face. “Sir, Yes Sir”. “Get out of my office mister”.

Ram1 turned and marched out, as he approached the door a smile appeared on his face and his walk became more of a bounce. ‘Newbies he thought', and just smiled.

The End