Stories of the 31st - Los Tres Amigos!

by Ram1

Stories of the 31st - Los Tres Amigos!

Ram1 was sitting back at his favorite table at the Hammer & Sickle, quietly relaxing from the stresses of the Malta campaign. As usual his sense of smell picked up her scent long before the rumblings of her gait were felt. His stomach turned at the smell, once again he had to suppress the memories that started to creep into his head. He calmed himself, preparing for yet another encounter with, Natasha.

Soon enough the floor began to shake, then suddenly she burst through the doors of the bar, and Ram1 saw something he hadn't seen in years, Natasha's face was beet red, sweat and other secretions were oozing from her pores, she looked worse then he could ever imagine. The last time she was this riled up was when Ram1 was with the 901st and Smiley had stolen her pajama's and turned them into a parachute. When he had to bail and landed in that pig farm, well that's another story. But this was worse, much worse.

"Vram1, Vram1, vou must come at vonce and help Natasha", she screamed. "Slow down, what is wrong", Ram1 asked. She was hyperventilating now but slowly was gaining composure of herself. "Vram1, I think I killed them, I didn't mean too, but I think they are all dead", she sighed. Ram1 looked at her, then remembered. "You didn't Natasha, I told you to be careful, especially after the Lockon and Pirate episodes", Ram1 said. I told you 1 at a time per day, not 3 at once for 3 days.

"Da, I know, but they vere so cute and energetic, Natasha couldn't control herself, it was like having a storm-shadow bomb go off inside me, such penetration was.... ", Ram1 couldn't bare the thought, "Stop Natasha, I don't want to hear it, where are they". "Da my lipshun, they are in my tent, please come and help me bury them before the MPs find out", She said hastily. "Calm down, I doubt they are dead, probably just stunned", he said. "Na, they are dead, dead, dead, all three I tell vou, I couldn't revive them". "Let's go see what damage you have wrought", Ram1 said sternly.

Together they left the Hammer & Sickle and raced over to her tent on the outskirts of the base. As he approached the tent Ram1 felt something peculiar, almost surreal, as if he was about to experience an unnatural event. As he approached the tent's opening he heard what he thought was mumbling, he went inside.

It took but a minute for the Shock and Awe of what he saw to register properly. There in front of him was a scene that the Marquis-de-sade would of been proud to participate in. Thinking quickly now he told Natasha to get Dadman and have him come here at once, but tell him it's not for her pleasure but that Ram1 needs his talent. Then go to the 309th nurses tent and get some of the girls to come over discretely and quietly.

Off she went on her errand and Ram1 turned back to survey the scene again. This is what he saw, forever burned into his mind. There hanging upside down naked over Natasha's King+ size bed was Floo, his ankles tied to rope connected to a lever that could lower him up and down. His face was thick with gunk and fluids the color of which were indescribable, where his face had been Ram1 wouldn't even contemplate. He was breathing but his eyes had rolled back into his head.

Next to him was a naked Ozz in a Chinese love chair, twirling around above the bed. Ram1 could hear him mumbling something that became clearer as he listened intensely. "I can't believe it", he thought to himself as the words registered. "I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz", Ozz was singing over and over again in his half conscious state.

Finally, on the bed was a naked Jesmth, spread eagle with his hands and feet bound to the bedposts. Completely covered in sweat and fluids Jesmth was unconscious and barely breathing. Every once in awhile his body would twitch and move, as if he had been electrically shocked. It was horrible to watch.

Ram1 was stunned. His mind was racing a million miles per hour. He had to take action and quickly. He took out his Kbar knife and quickly cut Jesmth loose, this caused his twitching to extend to his freed arms and legs now, so it looked like he was flailing like a fish out of water. He then lowered Floo down to a point where he could cut his feet loose and layed him down on the floor, no movement at all. Ram1 leaned closer and was relieved to hear him breathing, so he went on to the next pilot.

Ram1 stopped the chair from spinning and he now was able to lower it. As he did, substances started to drip from the hole in the center of the chair now that there was no centrifugal force to keep them in place. They dripped right onto the twitching Jesmth but there was nothing that Ram1 could do about that now, though the sight made him gag. He then swung the chair to the side of the bed and cut it loose. The chair hit the floor and Ozz rolled out onto his back. Ram1 went over to him to make sure he didn't get hurt, and was relieved to hear him mumbling "I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of ozz".

All three were alive, thankfully he thought. He stepped back out of the tent, he needed air. As he did so he ran into Dadman. "Ram1 what's up?, Natasha said you needed me here, needless to say I was a bit leery of that woman but she said you needed my expertise and ....", "Hold on Dadman, we have a situation here", Ram1 interrupted him. He then explained what had happened. Dadman immediately went inside to see for himself and came out an instant later, vomiting off to the side of the tent.

"I told you not to go in", Ram1 said. Dadman regained his composure, "So what do you need from me?", he asked. "I need a diversion, the nurses will be here soon to take them out, I need to make sure the base get's locked down and everyone in their bunkers in 2 hours, I need your demolition expertise to do that. It must appear as a surprise attack in two stages 15 minutes apart lasting 10 minutes each". The former bomber pilot looked at Ram1 and smiled, "Yes, I can do that with some delayed fuse bombs that I have, no problem". Dadman replied. "Good, then get started I want to move these men at exactly 2100, two hours from now. Both men synchronized their watches and Dadman ran off.

10 minutes later the 309th nurses arrived with Natasha. Ram1 explained the situation and the plan and told the nurses to get the boys ready. He had thought the nurses were hardened to the horrors of war but even a few of them couldn't help from vomiting as they got the 3 pilots ready for moving. It was now 2045 and all was ready.

At precisely 2100 the first explosion hit the base. Daddy had been working on a mission and was jolted upright by the sound and force of the blast. LB came running into his office, "Its a surprise attack", he shouted as a second blast rattled the windows. Both men ran out of the HQ toward the command bunker. Daddy and LB shouting orders as 31st pilots scrambled for cover.

"OK, now!" Ram1 said as the third explosion ripped through the darkness. Quickly the nurses bore the 3 pilots out of the tent on stretchers and headed to their private bunker to care for them. As he watched them enter the bunker another explosion roared through the airbase, this one an incendiary. "Nice touch Dadman", Ram1 said to himself. The men would be safe now and in a few hours back on their feet, that is what the nurses told him.

Heading back to Natasha's tent he knew he would have to confront her. She had disobeyed his direct orders and he had to make sure it didn't happen again. Most in the squad still don't understand the relationship Ram1 has with this woman, but they all know that only he can control her and only partially.

"Natasha, what were you thinking", Ram1 began in as stern a tone of voice as he could muster. "Da, Natasha know vat you vill say and she apologizes, it von't happen again darlink" she stated. "But I must tell vou Ram1, those boys, Oi, those boys ver vunderful. That floo, he flows like butter, and Jesmth, vow, like dat Jesse James I read about, with guns balzing, and dat Ozz, vat a cutie, and vat a love wizard, he make Natasha all tingly inside." "Enough", Ram1 said, "I don't want to hear anymore, don't ever do this again" Ram1 said, as the second round of explosions began. "Da my lipshun, I von't do this again, only vone at a time, maybe two at most, now help me fix my Love chair and wench you didn't have to vruin them", she said with a smile.

It was now 2145 and Ram1 was tired. People were coming out of the bunkers and assessing the damage, of course Ram1 knew there wouldn't be any damage to anything important. He saw one of the nurses that had helped and asked her how the boys were doing. He knew her of course, as he knew all the nurses of the 309th. This one was from southern California and spoke fluent Spanish. "Dos Tres Amigo's, that is what we are calling them, are recovering fine. We are bit worried about the one who keeps singing, but we will have the Doc look at them tomorrow", she said. "That is good news", Ram1 thought.

"You look like you could use some company Ram1", she said. Ram1 looked into her beautiful emerald eyes. "Yes, that would be nice, I could use a shower and bath, come nurse", he said as he took her hand. Together they began to walk then began to skip and laugh, and throughout the camp could be heard their singing, "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz".

- The End -